We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
