From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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