Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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