dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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