Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
