Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
