We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
