I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to have your abortion
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize