just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
