I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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