I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
