So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
