just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
