Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
