I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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