I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
