Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
