Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
