There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
