your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
