I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
