Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize