Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
