this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
