Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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