Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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