I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
