Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
