i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
