im drinking this country out of the recession.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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