Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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