What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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