I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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