if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
