listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
