k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
