why didn't you poke me back
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
