I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I could fuck to npr.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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