If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
