dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
