I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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