I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
