is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
