and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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