If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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