Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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