I seem to have left my pride at pride
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
