It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
