is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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