I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up under a house in Key West
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
