Its about making memories worth repressing
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He better not be in your backpack
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
