i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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