Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
