why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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