He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize