Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
