Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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