Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
