Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
