no. you can't hotbox the world.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
