You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
