you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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