Kiss
Puke
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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