Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
