Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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